SOUL FOOD for COLLEGE STUDENTS | REAL TALK ON RELATIONSHIP

As individual - whatever decisions we make for ourselves impacts of all humanity. 

Will impact our family > community > large environment.

When talking about marriage there will be contradiction, example >>  social statues, race, tradition, etc. Yet, what's prioritized is the sense of compatibility -compatibility of term who you're, religion, etc (aligning of visions & purpose).

Asked yourself, for examples, what's actually gonna be valuable for me? What's actually gonna help me?

Marriage & the person you married & the environment you live will impacts our live & our happiness. Because it takes long term. Maybe you're happy now, but then??

The foundation in relationship/marriage is with a spouse.

In relationship/marriage, ALLAH talk about Taqwa.

The one between a husb & a wife/a friend that has been close for many years, in that moment, we oppress the individual the most. 

Know that oppression takes place when 2 people are in close proximity & love one another that we take advantage of them & we abuse their rights.

This may happen because of anger/arrogance/obsessive/lack of vision with financial/not aligning with the most important & fundamental things that apply to us as we live in this world with higher purpose.

The difference thing between Islam & other religion > because as Muslims will recognize that relationship requires DEEP REFLECTION & RECTIFICATION OF SELF & VISIONARY THINKING.

We have been influenced by social media. Marriage isn't what's your fav ice cream, etc. And social media make told what it means to have successful relationship >> this is the problem now.

There's no truly relationship except marriage.

Your spouse is a part of you. They behind you, they in front of you just like 2 people are occupying the exact same space all times). 

That means the individual (your spouse) will look at you and they will see your flaws and the flaws inside of you will really exposed.

We have to prepare our relationship/companionship. In order for us to set ourselves up for a successful friendship/marriage >> we have to look inside of ourselves.

 That individual who knows themselves will then know their Lord. Because if we really scrutinize who we're as people, then we will work on purification of our heart & soul. Only then will achieve our Lord's pleasure & happiness.

But when we are lying to ourselves/ignore ourselves >> we will never be honest to ALLAH.

When you're friends with a person/in a marriage with another individual, the actions of that person & your own actions are representation of who you actually are. 

Every relationship/marriage is a mirror that allows us to see ourselves & allow us to see the other individual.

We have to ask ourselves: Would i marry to myself?

The question is like when I was to look myself & who I am, would I be content with myself?

The things that will prepare ourselves for marriage is working on ourselves [that ego with wealth & the material, the obsession of what other people think, anger, frustration, etc] isn't going to not only impact ourselves but greatly impact every relationship.

The IMPORTANT 🔑 is to work on our personal growth, our spiritual growth, not from the day you get married but from now!!

God consciousness will only be achieved when we look into ourselves & understand who we are, what we are doing, what we want, how we can work in ourselves, etc >>>  this is in relationship.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | KEKUATAN BERPIKIR POSITIF | DANIEL GOLEMAN

Menurut Snyder, orang orang yang memiliki harapan tinggi memiliki ciri-ciri tertentu, diantaranya >>

>>  mampu memotivasi diri sendiri,

>> Merasa cukup banyak akal untuk menemukan cara meraih tujuan,

>> Memiliki kepercayaan diri yang tinggi bahwa segala sesuatu akan beres saat menghadapi tahap sulit,

>> Cukup luwes menemukan cara efektif supaya sasaran tercapai 

>> Memiliki keberanian untuk memecah tugas yang berat menjadi tugas kecil mudah ditangani.

Orang yang memiliki harapan tinggi tidak mudah depresi, tidak begitu cemas, dan memiliki beban stres emosional rendah.

---------

OPTIMISME MOTIVATOR UTAMA

Optimisme seperti harapan, artinya >> memiliki pengharapan yang kuat bahwa segala sesuatu dalam kehidupan akan beres, meski ditimpa kemunduran dan frustasi.

Optimisme membawa keuntungan dalam kehidupan selama optimisme itu realistis. Jika optimisme itu naif maka akan mendatangkan malapetaka.

Orang optimistis menganggap kegagalan disebabkan >> suatu hal yang dapat diubah sehingga mereka dapat berhasil pada masa masa mendatang.

Orang pesimistis menganggap kegagalan sebagai>> kesalahan mereka sendiri, menganggapnya bahwa berasal dari pembawaan yang mendarah daging yang tidak bisa diubah oleh diri mereka.

Orang optimistis (Kegagalan = sesuatu yang dapat diperbaiki). 

Orang pesimistis (Kegagalan = kesalahan diri sendiri, tak dapat diubah, pembawaan dari lahir yang akan selalu menimpa kehidupan mereka).

Sikap mental orang pesimis = menjurus pada keputusasaan 

Sikap mental orang optimis = memancarkan harapan.

----- 

SOLUTION 

para ahli psikologi menyebutkan pendayagunaan diri -keyakinan bahwa orang mempunyai penguasaan akan peristiwa peristiwa dalam hidupnya & dapat menghadapi tantangan sewaktu tantangan itu muncul.

Menurut Albert Bandura, keyakinan seseorang akan kemampuannya berpengaruh besar terhadap kemampuan itu. 

Orang yang memiliki kepekaan pendayagunaan diri akan bangkit dari kegagalan. Mereka akan melakukan pendekatan dengan kerangka berpikir menangani masalah masalah tersebut, bukan merisaukan apa yang tidak beres.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

BAB 5

Penguasaan diri adalah kemampuan untuk menghadapi emosional. Hal ini telah ada sejak zaman Yunani kuno yang berasal dari kata sophroayne (hati-hati dan cerdas dalam mengatur kehidupan; keseimbangan dan kebijaksanaan yang terkendali). Atau orang Yunani menyebutnya sebagai temperantia atau kendali diri, pengendalian tindakan emosional yang berlebihan.

Tujuannya yakni keseimbangan emosi, bukan menekan emosi; setiap perasaan memiliki nilai dan makna. Menjaga emosi yang merisaukan merupakan kunci menuju kesejahteraan emosi.

Jika emosi ditekan, maka timbul kebosanan dan jarak; bila emosi tak dikendalikan, terlampau ekstrim dan terus-menerus, emosi akan menjadi sumber penyakit, seperti depresi berat, anxiety, dsb. Selain itu, dapat mengganggu kestabilan kita.

Intinya, bukan menjauhi perasaan yang tak menyenangkan agar selalu bahagia, namun tidak membiarkan perasaan menderita berlangsung tak terkendali sehingga meniadakan suasana hati yang menyenangkan.

Pada umumnya, suasana hati cenderung mencerminkan batin seseorang.

ANATOMI MARAH

Aristoteles mengungkapkan bahwa manusia boleh marah secara wajar, namun lebih sering amarah muncul karena manusia  tak terkendali.

Benjamin Franklin merumuskan bahwa >> amarah itu tak pernah tanpa alasan, tetapi jarang yang alasannya benar.

Amigdala kemungkinan menjadi sumber utama letupan amarah mendadak yang kita rasakan. Namun, di ujung lain sirkuit emosi, neokorteks, bisa menjadi penyebab munculnya amarah yang lebih terukur, misalnya, amarah yang didasarkan pada ketidakadilan dan ketidakjujuran. Ini sebuah amarah yang memiliki alasan alasan yang benar.

Semakin seseorang berpikir mengenai penyebab munculnya amarah maka semakin banyak alasan untuk pembenaran diri menjadi marah.

Tetapi, jika memikirkan segala sesuatunya dari sudut pandang yang berbeda maka akan mengurangi/meredakan amarah.

GELOMBANG AMARAH

Pemicu amarah biasanya terjadi karena perasaan terancam bahaya -bukan hanya fisik, namun simbolis seperti terancam harga dirinya/martabat, diperlakukan tidak adil/dikasari, dicaci-maki/diremehkan, dsb.

Zillman mengungkapkan, bila tubuh berada dalam kondisi tak sabaran, misal sudah marah/cemas, maka ada kemungkinan untuk mengalami emosi yang lebih tinggi.

Amarah dibangun oleh amarah = otak emosional memanas.

Amarah yang tidak terkendalikan oleh nalar mengakibatkan mudah meletus & menjadi tindak kekerasan.

Pada tahap ini, orang tidak mudah memaafkan & tidak bisa berpikir jernih. Yang dipikirkan hanya tindakan membalas dendam & lupa akan akibat yang ditimbulkannya.

OBAT PEREDA AMARAH

Zillman menjelaskan dalam temuan Diane Tice salah satu strategi yang cukup efektif untuk meredakan amarah adalah >> pergi menyendiri sembari mendinginkan amarah tersebut, misal pergi jalan-jalan dengan mobil, jalan kaki dalam waktu cukup lama, berolahraga, menarik napas dalam-dalam, menonton TV, bacaan, film, dsb. Namun, menghibur diri dengan berbelanja dan makan tidak ada pengaruhnya 

Dear Muslim Sister - Ep 2 Worship is Your Power

Faith isn't suppersism, its strength. 

Somehow faith is being repackaged as weakness especially for women because it's maybe cultural messaging or patriarchal practices masked as Islam. 

Faith is like poised of freedom. 

Seek العلم / ilm / knowledge from trusted scholars or women of Quran, etc. 

When you pray > you're guiding your heart. 

When you fast > you mastering your soul, etc. 

The right of Muslim women to learn, to worship, to own property, to testify, to work, to accept marriage, to refuse marriage, to seek divorce, to inherit  were not  granted by human or a government or a movement. 

They decreed by the Lord, our creator. 

Worship is coming to الله with your sadness etc. It's presence, not performance, & keep asking الله. 

Dear Muslim Sister - Dr. Rania Awaad - Episode 01 Know Your Lord

Knowing Allah intimately with awe closeness, not just believing in Him. 

ربك = Your Lord

The word Lord just doesn't mean Lord, but it means The One who created you, nurture you, & continuously cares for you. 

In nearly surah, الله always begin with بسم الله الر حمن الر حيم 

And how to start knowing Allah? 

By knowing His name & His attributes (99 names of ALLAH). 

The more you know Him the more you love Him & the more you easier to place your trust in Him. 

The real tawakkal isn't mean passive or ignoring, but it walking through it knowing your Lord has written your provision, healing, ease. 

He is الله never late. 

When you truly know Him, you will never feel alone again. 

When you trust Him, your heart find peace that the world can't offer. 

ربي جعلني من العا ر فين بك المحبين لك المتو كلين عليك 

The Chalk Giant

What do you know?

The story tells about the giant sibling who have a unique names. The female giant was called Shine bacause she was born, the sun rose, and wherever she went, the sun followed. The boy was called Dum becasue the first time he opened his mouth it was to sing: Dum. I thought they were happy because they playing hide and seek. 

Why do you want to know?

I was curious to this short story because of the title ‘The Chalk Giant’. the title’s interesting and make an impression to the reader about caring, love, warmth and affection between brother/sister.

What do you learn?

The story teaches the reader to love and help each other.

This is evidenced by when Shine and Dum played hide and seek, Shine was lost for months. Then, Dum triying to find her. 

Talitha S. Biela

190511100088/6C

Mpu Tantular

Sidoarjo is known to as a delta city because it is located between 2 major rivers from the Brantas river, namely, the Mas River and the Porong River. However, one of the places that I will explain is the Mpu Tantular museum which is located in the Buduran sub-district, Sidoarjo, East Java.

On the other hand Sidoarjo which is known as an industrial area. The tourist can visit one of the educational tours, namely the Mpu Tantular Museum. This museum is located in Buduran sub-district, Sidoarjo, East Java. The Mpu Tantular Museum was built in 1933 by the cultural institution Stedelijk Historisch Museum Soerabaia by Godfried Hariowald von Faber, a German citizen of Surabaya. From the construction of this cultural institution which became the forerunner of the history of the Mpu Tantular Museum, it was inaugurated on July 25, 1937.

The museum, formerly the Stedelijk Historisch Museum Soerabaia, on November 1, 1974 officially became the East Java State Museum of Mpu Tantular. The inauguration received a handover from R. Banu Iskandar to the Director General of Culture, Prof. Dr. I.B. spell. The name of the Mpu Tantular museum is taken from the name of a famous poet during the reign of King Hayam Wuruk. One of his famous works is the Kakawin Sutasoma Book because half a stanza from this kakawin has become Indonesia's national motto: Bhineka Tunggal Ika. The name Mpu Tantular has its own meaning, Mpu is a title and it means an intelligent person, while Tantular means uninfected, unaffected, undeviated, unchanging.

The collection of the "Mpu Tantular" Museum is approximately 15,000 pieces which are classified into the collections of Geology, Biology, Ethnography, Archeology, History, Numismatics, Heraldry, Philology, Ceramics, Fine Arts and Technology. The collections exhibited in the permanent exhibition room of the museum consist of collections from Prehistoric, Classical (Hindu-Buddhist), Islamic, Colonial and Modern times, including the science and technology collection. Because the collection of the Mpu Tantular Museum continues to grow, the location of the museum has moved from its original location three times. The Mpu Tantular Museum was first located on Jalan Pemuda, then in 1975 it moved to Jalan Taman Mayangkara. Then in 2004, they moved to Jalan Raya Buduran, Sidoarjo. In addition, the location of the Mpu Tantular museum is in two points, namely in Surabaya and Sidoarjo. The museum collection in Sidoarjo focuses on culture, while in Surabaya it focuses on history.

To visit the museum, tourists should pay around Rp. 3,000. In addition, the museum has an area of 3 hectares which contains exhibitions of pre-historic times such as the era of the Majapahit kingdom, in the form of ancient money, fossils, and the history of Majapahit. There is also a diverse collection of weapons, honours, ceramics, and ethnographic objects. This is marked by the early entry of Europeans to Indonesia in the early 15th century. On the other hand, this museum has a collection of mostly Buddhist and Hindu statues such as the Ganesha statue, the Durga Mahesasuramardhini statue, the Shiva statue, and so on.

In addition, outside the Mpu Tantular museum there are street vendors. They sell in front of the museum gate, so that visitors can buy snacks when hungry or thirsty. The price offered is also friendly in the pocket of students. Most of those who visited the museum were schoolchildren with different backgrounds, ranging from kindergarten to elementary school children. So, parents need not fret when their children are hungry or thirsty.