SOUL FOOD for COLLEGE STUDENTS | REAL TALK ON RELATIONSHIP

As individual - whatever decisions we make for ourselves impacts of all humanity. 

Will impact our family > community > large environment.

When talking about marriage there will be contradiction, example >>  social statues, race, tradition, etc. Yet, what's prioritized is the sense of compatibility -compatibility of term who you're, religion, etc (aligning of visions & purpose).

Asked yourself, for examples, what's actually gonna be valuable for me? What's actually gonna help me?

Marriage & the person you married & the environment you live will impacts our live & our happiness. Because it takes long term. Maybe you're happy now, but then??

The foundation in relationship/marriage is with a spouse.

In relationship/marriage, ALLAH talk about Taqwa.

The one between a husb & a wife/a friend that has been close for many years, in that moment, we oppress the individual the most. 

Know that oppression takes place when 2 people are in close proximity & love one another that we take advantage of them & we abuse their rights.

This may happen because of anger/arrogance/obsessive/lack of vision with financial/not aligning with the most important & fundamental things that apply to us as we live in this world with higher purpose.

The difference thing between Islam & other religion > because as Muslims will recognize that relationship requires DEEP REFLECTION & RECTIFICATION OF SELF & VISIONARY THINKING.

We have been influenced by social media. Marriage isn't what's your fav ice cream, etc. And social media make told what it means to have successful relationship >> this is the problem now.

There's no truly relationship except marriage.

Your spouse is a part of you. They behind you, they in front of you just like 2 people are occupying the exact same space all times). 

That means the individual (your spouse) will look at you and they will see your flaws and the flaws inside of you will really exposed.

We have to prepare our relationship/companionship. In order for us to set ourselves up for a successful friendship/marriage >> we have to look inside of ourselves.

 That individual who knows themselves will then know their Lord. Because if we really scrutinize who we're as people, then we will work on purification of our heart & soul. Only then will achieve our Lord's pleasure & happiness.

But when we are lying to ourselves/ignore ourselves >> we will never be honest to ALLAH.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | KEKUATAN BERPIKIR POSITIF | DANIEL GOLEMAN

Menurut Snyder, orang orang yang memiliki harapan tinggi memiliki ciri-ciri tertentu, diantaranya >>

>>  mampu memotivasi diri sendiri,

>> Merasa cukup banyak akal untuk menemukan cara meraih tujuan,

>> Memiliki kepercayaan diri yang tinggi bahwa segala sesuatu akan beres saat menghadapi tahap sulit,

>> Cukup luwes menemukan cara efektif supaya sasaran tercapai 

>> Memiliki keberanian untuk memecah tugas yang berat menjadi tugas kecil mudah ditangani.

Orang yang memiliki harapan tinggi tidak mudah depresi, tidak begitu cemas, dan memiliki beban stres emosional rendah.

---------

OPTIMISME MOTIVATOR UTAMA

Optimisme seperti harapan, artinya >> memiliki pengharapan yang kuat bahwa segala sesuatu dalam kehidupan akan beres, meski ditimpa kemunduran dan frustasi.

Optimisme membawa keuntungan dalam kehidupan selama optimisme itu realistis. Jika optimisme itu naif maka akan mendatangkan malapetaka.

Orang optimistis menganggap kegagalan disebabkan >> suatu hal yang dapat diubah sehingga mereka dapat berhasil pada masa masa mendatang.

Orang pesimistis menganggap kegagalan sebagai>> kesalahan mereka sendiri, menganggapnya bahwa berasal dari pembawaan yang mendarah daging yang tidak bisa diubah oleh diri mereka.

Orang optimistis (Kegagalan = sesuatu yang dapat diperbaiki). 

Orang pesimistis (Kegagalan = kesalahan diri sendiri, tak dapat diubah, pembawaan dari lahir yang akan selalu menimpa kehidupan mereka).

Sikap mental orang pesimis = menjurus pada keputusasaan 

Sikap mental orang optimis = memancarkan harapan.

----- 

SOLUTION 

para ahli psikologi menyebutkan pendayagunaan diri -keyakinan bahwa orang mempunyai penguasaan akan peristiwa peristiwa dalam hidupnya & dapat menghadapi tantangan sewaktu tantangan itu muncul.

Menurut Albert Bandura, keyakinan seseorang akan kemampuannya berpengaruh besar terhadap kemampuan itu. 

Orang yang memiliki kepekaan pendayagunaan diri akan bangkit dari kegagalan. Mereka akan melakukan pendekatan dengan kerangka berpikir menangani masalah masalah tersebut, bukan merisaukan apa yang tidak beres.